We’ve all been there. We have all been in that season of life where things just stink. We go to get-togethers with friends or we talk to people who matter to us hoping they will speak life into our situation. At the very least, we hope that they will understand. However, instead of understanding or being there for you, they put on a face and leave you feeling just as broken as when you left home. This can be true in the homeschool community as well. Many homeschool moms work so hard to prove that they have it all together and they are doing right by their children. Sometimes that is not what people want. I really believe that transparency is your gift. Let me share why.
Transparency is your Gift
I went through this recently. I was going through a really difficult time. I called a few friends and reached out to a few people but there wasn’t anyone who understood. Well, there was but they worried about their appearance so no one knew. In a moment when I needed them most they were more concerned with their public face than with meeting a very real need. That day I needed to hear that I was understood. I needed to hear that I wasn’t alone. I needed transparency. Instead I joined in the group and put on a face like everyone else. The problem was still very real and very overwhelming.
A picture of transparency
In an acting group our family is a part of, the moms sit together and chat while the children do their acting class. We talk about acting and we talk about life. It’s a lot of fun to sit around that table and catch up with these moms. There is one mom in the group who seems like the picture of held together. She is that type of woman you look at and wish you could mimic. A few weeks ago, she was transparent with me. She was completely and totally honest about some struggles she was walking through. Guess what, I was walking through some of what she was. Don’t get me wrong, my situation wasn’t the same. However, because of her transparency I was able to be an encouragement to her in some small way. I have offered tips, tricks, and resources to help her get through. Her transparency was a gift. She was brave enough to risk rejection in that moment because she needed to be seen for who she was. I don’t know if she will ever know how much I appreciated her transparency. It takes a lot of boldness to be real with someone. I only hope that my transparency was a gift to her as well in a hard time.
What would it look like?
You see, it’s really easy to put on a face and try to be the ideal homeschool mom. It is a lot harder to be 100% transparent and admit that this is hard and we don’t have it all together. With Facebook statuses and Pinterest promising us everything is perfect it can be simple to believe that we are failing before we even start. In this society, what would it look like if we were genuinely transparent with people? What if we replaced our perfect Facebook posts with something that said, “I love my kids today but I really don’t like them. Tell me I am not alone here.” Sure, there would be moms who would judge, belittle, and offer ways to make your kids more perfect, but if it was a group effort on the part of many women what could that change? Could a complete transparency be a gift that freed women from feeling obligated to constantly be more? I believe it could. I believe that if more moms felt safe to call things like they were, other moms could feel safe encouraging them on their hardest days.
I want to challenge you today to be transparent with the people around you. Instead of sticking to the image that makes you feel better about yourself, choose to be real so that someone else might be blessed. You never know what your small transparency will do in someone else’s life.
Have you had an experience where transparency was a gift? Leave me a comment or find me on social media and let me know. I would love to hear from you.