There are days that are wearing. They suck the very life out of you and leave you wondering how you survived. On days like this it can be easy to look at what others do. There have been a few of these where I looked at those around me and assumed there was a certain way the situation should be handled. So I squared up my shoulders and I pretended I was strong. On the inside I was miserable and I was suffering. I wish I wasn’t trying to pretend I was brave. There are 3 times I wish I would have been weak!
3 Times I Wish I Would Have Been Weak
The first few weeks after I had my daughter…
When I had my daughter I wanted to be an amazing mom. I had dreams of being amazing! However, I also had post-partum, an injured knee, an episiotomy, difficulty nursing, a husband who worked 2 jobs, and a colicky baby. Every bit of me wanted to cry. I wanted to call friends for help. I wanted to admit that I was weak and tired and just all around not doing well at this new parent thing. I wanted someone to come hug me and take this screaming princess and give me a shower, a nap, and maybe an ice pack for my nether regions. Instead, I pretended everything was fine. I soldiered through it.
You know what stinks? I didn’t have to. I had amazing ladies who had been there who would have come and changed a diaper, held my baby, given me a nap, made a meal, or just let me cry. All I had to do was admit for a minute that I didn’t have it all together. If you are expecting, let me challenge you to have people on standby that you can call. They don’t have to be perfect. My children are much older now. In the last 10 years many friends have come over, handed me a baby, and gone back to my room to grab a nap. I wanted to be for them what I didn’t admit I needed. Don’t be afraid to be weak enough to ask for what you need most.
When I struggled with Anger…
When my daughter was about 2 and a half I got pregnant with my son. My hormones were all over the place and I was not a nice person to be around. I was always angry. My husband worked crazy hours and it was just R and I a lot of the time. I was always angry and she always bore the bulk of my angry. I was always yelling and I was excessive in my discipline with her. I wish more than anything that I would have been weak enough to admit that I couldn’t do it. However, I looked around at all the moms who seemed to have it all figured out and I felt like I had to become better. So I pressed through it doing more damage than good.
I had friends who would have given me the help I needed to manage my anger. I could have started with counseling and gotten the help I needed at that point. I could have avoided some of the regrets that came from that season. If you are struggling with anger, don’t be afraid to be weak. Admit it to someone and ask for help. There are resources and there ways to help you move past your anger and find peaceful ways to handle situations. I sought help and I am so happy that I did.
When the finances got really bad…
We had a season where things got really bad around here. The cupboards were bare. The bank accounts were overdrawn. Everything was falling apart. I was so terrified to say anything to anyone because I was afraid of what would be said. I was afraid to be judged. I was afraid of the comments. Everyone else seemed to have it together. We just didn’t. We were broke and tired and overwhelmed. I wish I could say I was weak enough to admit we were struggling. I wish I could say we asked for help. In that season we didn’t for a long time. We let our pride take over.
If I could go back. I would be weak. I would admit that things were hard. I would reach out for help. I would ask for friends to help us find a way out of a bad situation and seek encouragement. If you are in a bad financial situation that seems hopeless, start by calling 211. It’s the United Way resource line and they will do what they can to connect you to resources in your area. There is no shame in asking for help.
Are you walking through a difficult season? Everything in you may tell you to toughen up and soldier through it. There are times for that. However, it’s ok to be weak sometimes. It’s ok to admit that you can’t do it alone and that you need help, encouragement, or a hug. Don’t do life alone.
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