Joining a quality homeschool group is one of the most valuable things I think a homeschool mom can do. You are able to learn from other moms, talk to people who understand, and find answers to a lot of your questions. I am such a strong believer in groups that I created a Facebook-based group so that I could be sure that my readers have a place to feel safe and talk homeschool. That said, I know that homeschool groups can also be an uncomfortable place for some. I often hear and even find myself saying “I’m too…. for my homeschool group.” There are many different things that fill in those blanks and I wanted to address them for a minute.
I’m Too… For My Homeschool Group
This list is made up of ones that have either been emailed to me by readers who were upset or by friends who were venting. If you feel like something is missing from this list please leave me a comment and let me know.
I’m too liberal for my homeschool group
This one is generally accompanied with a plea for suggestions on where a more liberal homeschool family can be accepted and welcomed. Sadly, there is a huge trend in the homeschool community to have new members sign a statement of faith, agree to certain beliefs, and be of a certain religion to be accepted. I understand why some parents have this desire. However, it leaves parents who may not have this faith feeling excluded.
I have two things I wish would happen here.
- I wish homeschool groups were more open to people who believed differently than they do. – I understand that you are looking to preserve your child’s beliefs and limit their exposure to certain things. However, there are many homeschool moms who are doing this thing completely alone because they don’t share your beliefs.
- I wish there were more secular homeschool groups for moms who don’t believe a certain way. – While the bulk of groups seem to be faith-based I would love to see homeschool groups opened with the goal of encouraging and being there for moms who don’t have to sign a statement of faith. It would be amazing to see more groups where homeschooling is the common thread that binds us.
I’m too poor for my homeschool group.
Homeschooling is a huge commitment. Many moms are taking on work from home and doing everything they can to make bills. On the other end of the spectrum are the moms who are very financially comfortable and can do everything for their kids. This can be very hard for homeschool moms who are pinching every penny. It’s easy to feel like you don’t fit in because you can’t afford field trips or lunch get-togethers.
There are two things I wish people would consider.
- Not everyone has what you have. I am not saying it is your job to do less for your family because someone else has less than you. Instead, I am suggesting that if you are the homeschool mom who lives a bit more comfortable, consider events and activities that don’t cost a great deal. A Chick Fil A lunch meetup may seem like no big deal for some. For others, that’s a really expensive meal that they can’t afford. Find ways to include moms who can’t spend what you can in some of the events.
- More people struggle than you realize. – While things can look one way at homeschool group, that isn’t always the way things are at home. The mom you look at and compare yourself to financially may be in a mountain of debt or may have other struggles you can never understand.
I’m too quiet/outspoken for my homeschool group.
I put both of these together because I hear a lot of both from readers and friends. Are you an introvert? Is your idea of a good day a good book with no one talking to you? Maybe you are an extrovert and live big at all times. It can be really intimidating when in homeschool groups to feel like you are too much of either of these personalities.
Here are 2 things to keep in mind.
- Introverts – You may have to be an extroverted introvert for a bit. My challenge for you is to find one person to visit with. This can be intimidating, I know. Walk up to the other introvert who looks like she’s doing her own thing too. Another person that often gets overlooked is the mom with a small baby or toddler. These moms have to be on the move to keep up with their littles. You may not jive but you may end up meeting your best friend.
- Extroverts – I am not an extrovert so I can’t sympathize as much here. That said, I want to challenge to find an introvert to hang out with. I have found that when an introvert and an extrovert hang out together they balance each other out. Help the introverted momma plug into the group. She’ll thank you for it.
I’m too new for my homeschool group.
This one is hard. Being a new homeschool mom is equal parts overwhelming and exciting. I don’t have two points for this one. I only have the one. You are more than enough to be a part of this group. Being a new homeschool mom gives you the unique ability to give older homeschool moms a dose of your fresh excitement while letting us pass wisdom on to you. It can be hard to feel like you have anything to contribute but I challenge you to get to know the people in your group. A good group will welcome and encourage you.
I’m too ________ for my homeschool group.
I am sure I left off something that you are thinking for you. I want to encourage you. You are more than enough. If you are being genuinely judged and belittled for who you are as a person it may be time to look for a new homeschool group. Not every place is a fit for everyone. It breaks my heart when homeschool moms message me in tears because they have been belittled for something in a homeschool group. You are enough Momma. You are enough no matter what anyone says.
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