I was in a group recently of amazing homeschoolers that I love to catch up with. We were talking about our struggles with homeschooling. One of the sweet moms was talking about how she didn’t fit in. She was saying that she didn’t feel like she fit in with some of the prim moms. You know the mom she is talking about. It’s the homeschool mom who not only seems to have it all together but her little darlings look amazing too. It’s that mom that can leave you feeling insecure. Let me tell you a secret. She’s rocking the homeschool mom mask.
The Homeschool Mom Mask
What do I mean by the homeschool mom mask?
You know the one. It’s the clean outfit you put on your kid who never ever dresses nice. The last minute car clean out before you head out where someone might see you get out of the car. Maybe it’s the text message on your phone so people don’t hear your kids fight. It’s the FacebookFacebook picture that only gets posted if the area behind your kid is clean. To put it bluntly, it’s the fake that makes you feel better about the areas you don’t feel adequate.
Let me tell you a little secret about the prim mom.
She still wears a mask. Maybe doesn’t have it all together. It’s possible that she just wears a fancier mask. Sure, she may be better at faking it. She may even be holding it together a bit better than you. At the end of the day though, she struggles too. She has issues and she doubts herself.
“It can be so easy to look at the homeschool mom mask and think that is normal.”
I am super guilty of this one! I look at the masked version of homeschool moms around me and I covet their peace. I want their calm children. I want my kids to learn as easily. I want to feel like more of a mom. I want to feel enough. I think we notice the mask so much because if we are honest, we wish we could be something more or better than what we are.
Here’s the problem with the homeschool mom mask.
We’re all just winging it and hoping it ends well. We’re sitting here with our best accessories making our mask look like something and covering our weaknesses. We are masking our brokenness and hiding our struggle. Guess what. We are doing each other a huge disservice.
Roll out in that messy minivan. Come without your makeup perfect. Let your kid wear the weird stuff. Bring the junk you have on hand in your cooler to park day. I am not saying you should slack just to slack but don’t fake it. Don’t become something you aren’t just because you are around other moms. There is a momma looking at you desperate to know that she is enough. If we can each be a bit more transparent, maybe we won’t have so many homeschool moms who feel like they are utterly failing.
If you are the mom who is feeling less than enough, let me encourage you. You may not have it all together.
If any homeschool mom you met was 100% honest with you, she would tell you that she doesn’t have it all together either. Let’s be real. Today I felt guilty because right now my kitchen is a mess but I chose to spend the entire afternoon reading to the kids. I am sure there is a place for balance. I am sure I should have put the book down and cleaned. Tomorrow I will. For today, I am accepting that that’s just our normal. You have your normal. It’s not perfect. It’s messy and it’s crazy and it’s hectic. You know what, you aren’t out to impress all the masks. Your goal is to homeschool those kids and love your family. The rest will fall where it needs to.
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